So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Randomize
