On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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