So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
