I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
