One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I puked a lego.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
