my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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