Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You have to summon your inner elephant
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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