You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
