Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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