It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
