Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize
