we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Is it because I queefed?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
