This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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