S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
