You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
