There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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