just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
