How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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