you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
