she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Just high enough for therapy.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
