did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
