And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
