I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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