i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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