I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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