Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
