You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
