is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
