k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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