when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
