Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Randomize
