the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
