I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
