Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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