I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
