Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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