In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
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