That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
