It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
