Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
