Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
