dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
