Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
