How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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