That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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