my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
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