Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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