Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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