The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
