sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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