Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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