I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
