Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
