awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
