so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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