well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
