after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
